Rest in Power, STC

I know it’s been about a minute (ha!) since I’ve written here, but it seemed appropriate under the circumstances to write this.

Last week, I thought I was having a heart attack–a REAL heart attack. My chest hurt, my heart was racing at a million miles an hour, I was having some difficulty breathing, and when I had a head-rush for no reason, I knew something was wrong. With a family history of heart disease, I didn’t want to take any chances. I had my husband take me to the doctor, and she determined that I was experiencing a panic attack. Well, I guess I’m glad it was a panic attack and not an actual heart attack!

But why?

Today, the world figured out a big part of what has been contributing to my stress for a while now. The STC announced that it had shut its doors and is filing Chapter 7 bankruptcy. I was one of those people who had to make that decision. While it was not my decision alone, I know that those on the STC Executive Council and Board are also feeling this stress and sadness as well. While it sounds cliché, believe me when I say that this decision was not made lightly and was very difficult. It was a build-up of years of issues coming to a head despite many best efforts to reverse those issues, and rather than depending on unpredictable “hope” that it would get better, it was the right decision to stop everything. Otherwise, an already bad situation was only going to get worse, and that would not be fair to anyone–the members, or those on the future Board trying to keep things afloat.

While I could go into deeper details of the last seven months as I experienced them as Board Vice-President and what led to this, I won’t. It’s not worth it at this point. Maybe if I ever meet you in person over a drink or lunch, I could tell you the story, but not here.

Rather, I want to use this to express how I’m mourning this loss. I’ve been reading comments from all over the world about the announcement, and trying to help others through this as best as I can.

As someone who started a new career in her forties, STC was introduced to me when I decided to go back to school. I joined as a graduate student, and haven’t left since that time. While I haven’t been a member as long as many people that I know, I can honestly say that STC has been my chosen family. I’ve made a lot of professional connections with people I consider my mentors. The knowledge I’ve gained with my association with STC has been tremendous. It took my knowledge and experience in tech comm to the next level to make my career what it is today. Heck, I don’t know that I would have the job I have now without my STC connection, as that was a “preferred” qualification when I applied.

I’ve also formed many friendships with my colleagues over the years. There’s a large group of technical communicators who I met through STC that are my “touch base” people–they are the ones I don’t have to mask my autism for and can totally be myself. That says a lot. These are friendships I hope to sustain for many years to come through social media and other means, because these people do mean a lot to me, and I might not see them as often now since we won’t have STC to connect us the same way.

So, for me to be one of the main people to push for this closing because it was the right thing to do? This was like taking a loved one off of life support to let them pass on. No one really wants that beloved person to go, but you don’t want to prolong any suffering either. That’s what this feels like for me, and I know it’s felt that way for a lot of longtime STC members and associates.

I’ve been grateful that most of the messages I’ve read or received were of support for the decision. Most people are sad, but they understand that this was not an easy thing to do, and that it’s for the best. It does comfort me that other people can attest to the knowledge and energy that the organization had, which brought some of the best of the best in technical communication out there, and that STC helped with their careers, too.

For myself, it’s disappointing that I’ll never have the chance to apply to be an Associate Fellow or Fellow. But I’m not alone–several people applied for those honors this year, and that’s not even going to be fulfilled now for them either. If things were in a better state, I could have been in line to be the Board President. Well, I got pretty close with being Vice-President, so there’s that. I am grateful that I’m one of the few people who has received the STC President’s Award–that’s nothing to sneeze at. So many people contributed to the long-term success of the organization but will not be able to reap the benefits anymore, which is a hard pill to swallow. But it is what it is.

A lot of us are mourning for this big loss. And it is a loss. I wrote about the benefits of belonging to STC plenty of times over the course of the years on this blog. Sure, there are other organizations that we can explore and join, and other avenues for gaining knowledge, education, and certifications. But STC was truly a different kind of organization. I’ve never felt more supported by any other organization like this in my life. Everyone wanted you to do well. Everyone encouraged you to learn, discuss, and innovate. The genuine kindness and support were unmatched. The STC alumni are incomparable in these respects, and I hope that this will continue as we connect in other ways and carry this legacy forward.

I do want to give an extra special shoutout to two people in this whole thing.

First, to Tim Esposito, the Immediate Past President of STC. Tim and I go way back from trenches of the STC Philadelphia Metro Chapter. While he’s been in STC longer than me, he always encouraged me to step up, has been an incredible mentor, one of my biggest cheerleaders, and a great friend and confidant. I can’t thank him enough, and so glad that we’ve moved up the ranks together (usually with me on your coat tails). Sir, I salute you.

The other person is Liz Herman, the current STC President. So much of this entire process has been on her shoulders, and I couldn’t let her bear this whole thing alone. She did so much of the heavy lifting, and we owe her a debt of gratitude for her grace and leadership under pressure. (This is an understatement.) I’m glad we were able to work together and support each other through this process, and we’re going down like Thelma and Louise–together!

There are so many other people to name, but I don’t know that I could remember or fit them all in. You know who you are. Thank you all for supporting my journey as I’ve become a better technical communicator, teaching me how to fight against imposter syndrome at my weakest moments, and helping me learn how to be a leader. You have my eternal gratitude.

The Society for Technical Communication had a 72-year run. We all contributed to making it a good run while we could. The organization will be sorely missed by many, and definitely by me.